Posts Tagged ‘behavior’

Great quote from a recent HuffPo article:

“Part of the reason that Robsten doesn’t matter to me, however, is that I am not a young woman today, and I’m glad that I’m not. For any girl growing up who pays attention to the media, it’s a terrifying time to understand what it means to be a girl in society. From Rush Limbaugh, they’ve learned that they are prostitutes and “sluts” for wanting birth control and healthy reproductive options for women. From Todd Akin, they’ve learned that their bodies can magically judo chop any unwanted side effects of rape and that women somehow can be “illegitimately” raped. From Paul Ryan, they’ve learned that rape is just “another method of conception,” which should be news to the makers of the Kama Sutra. And then Rape Culture Super-Defender Mike Huckabee chimed in by saying that “rape can create extraordinary people,” because young women everywhere desperately needed his opinion on this issue. Thanks, Huck.”

First, Mike Huckabee is a fool. Which is a sad statement, because Huckabee is actually a very likable, erudite man. Apparently, though, with his foot in his mouth.

Second, all young women should read this article, which can be found here.

Third, we then all need to take a breath.

I think what the article here glosses over is that the Stewart was wrong. It’s not a cause to launch a massive negative media campaign about here and come up with trendy and genius names, constantly embarrassing her and endangering her career. What should put her career in danger is that she is the worst actress of all time, and that includes that drag queen chick from Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil. But I digress.

As the article clearly points out, there’s a lot of older white guys like me telling all of the young women in America what to do with their bodies and how we’ll judge them based on the actions they take in life. But in that, some basic lessons are being overlooked. I personally don’t care who Kristen Stewart dates, has sex with, or goes skeet shooting with. It’s just not on my radar. However, I do teach young women in discipleship classes and I worry that the lack of consideration of role model behavior – like Stewart’s – is a problem given her teen idol status. And it’s an important discussion to have.

Whether male or female, cheating on your girlfriend/spouse/ whatever is wrong. Just plain wrong. Even if the relationship you are in is dead or destructive, you need to exit that relationship cleanly before starting up romance with another. This is a pretty simple concept. It goes to the honor of young men and women, a consideration we have all but buried in the modern age. A man or woman who will cheat with you, knowing you are in another relationship, is dishonoring not just you, but your significant other.

And if they will dishonor you for something as freely given as sex, they will dishonor you in many, many other areas. But get that first point through your head – if he will cheat with you, he likely doesn’t respect you. So why would you want to be with that person? Your self-esteem should be greater than that.

Relationships of all kinds are about trust. It’s not about free love, polyamory, or anything else you want to play it off as – its about trusting the other person. If you want to have multiple lovers, you better make that clear to the one you are dating because their agenda – right or wrong – may just differ on that point. If you respect them, you will be honest with them.

By the way, unlike the author of this article, I don’t consider infidelity a “mistake.” It’s not like you were walking across a room, tripped over a bump in the rug and accidentally had sex with someone. It doesn’t work that way. It’s a choice, plain and clear. If you make that choice, you are not making a mistake, you are deliberately saying that your current relationship has less value than the act you are undertaking.

I listened once to a great interview with former heavy metal rocker Alice Cooper. Despite hundreds of concerts on dozens of tours, Cooper remained faithful to his wife. Asked how he did it, he gave a very literate and common sense response. He said that his relationship with his wife (now of 36 years) was a deep, romantic coupling. He responded to the question with a question – why would anyone trade 5 minutes of orgasmic bliss with a one-night stand for the entire relationship developed over years that has a much more exciting, and emotionally deeper sexual component? It just didn’t make sense to him.

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